I’ve been working the past two days at the NCAA tournament and I’ve realized just how much I miss being productive and busy. I only wish I were getting paid for my 10 hours of work per day and perhaps could turn it into something else. But at least I get a taste of what it is like behind the scenes at an athletic event of such magnitude, and I really love the media-relations side. I could work in media, I really have enjoyed myself. It has served as a distraction from Josh being gone, although not a very good one.
Turns out one of the guys there was in a reserve unit and wanted to talk military. At first it’s good to talk about Joshua, it helps me feel connected. But then when the guys starts telling me- "oh yeah, for sure you’ll get another deployment" eff off, man. What woman wants to hear that about their husband? And especially during their currently life period of suck. And I was also advised to under no circumstances let him go on inactive ready reserve. What the hell, that’s my one thing I’m looking forward to. So now I’m a mess, I’m the only one here tonight and I have no one to cry to. EFF.
You know how they always say there are up’s and down’s… I’m in a valley. And the top looks so far away. I know I always get back up, and hopefully tomorrow will be good, but I’m so incredibly sad for him right now. And so worried.
He’s started doing 3-day rotations living in a safe house in the city, so I don’t get to talk to him more than 2 times a week. I had just gotten used to the old routine, now I have to find another way. It’s really difficult, and I’m driving myself crazy thinking about what he’s doing and what time it is there, and all the negatives. I just need, apparently, to have people around me at all times. Not necessarily there talking to me, but just there, physically, in case of emergency.
On another note, I had about 4-5 creepy guys shamelessly try to talk to me today. So I’ve got that going for me… creep-o’s think they’ve got a shot. Awesome.
So after 4 basketball games and equal amounts of press conferences, I’m exhausted. Not too exhausted, however, to be crazy about falling asleep and be wacko nutso emotional. Anyway, that’s the update, I love him, I’m sad, and I can’t wait to talk to him again.
The Future of Entertainment
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